Tethered

Before I start in on this post, I have to say…my birthday was awesome. I had a great time. My friend gifted me a red superhero cape and mask…I wore it all weekend. My friends so get me…I am supergirl.

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For about 2 years now, I’ve been trying to shake depression and general malaise. Inspiration doesn’t come to me the way it used to. I am always tired and dragging my feet. When I feel this way, its hard to write blog posts, because they are just so flippin whiney.

Today was more of the same. Sulk. Sigh. Ugh.

What’s going on with me?

My internet wasn’t working very well this morning, and Facebook would not load properly…so I just sat here for a minute and asked the sky what I am supposed to do. I am grateful for my life and all that I am surrounded with, so WHAT IS MY PROBLEM? I got my son out of bed and made him go with me to run some errands. After that, I trimmed his hair and cleaned my bedroom. Then suddenly, I was starting to feel better.

What changed? I stepped away from the computer. Away from Facebook. Away from all the anger in my newsfeed. Then I realized how “over it” I am.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Facebook. OBVIOUSLY. I’m addicted to it. I’m tethered to my laptop and phone, always checking my notifications, and when there is nothing new, I scroll the DAMN NEWSFEED. I will literally scroll for 30 – 40 minutes…reading my friends/family/and even STRANGERS angry opinions about the world. Yesterday my brother was posting f-bombs…

OH, and now everything is VIDEO. Long gone are the happy posts about what people are making for dinner, everything is a VIDEO. Horses moonwalking. Dogs singing to children. Angry interviews from CNN. Police beating up drunk women…Its mesmerizing, and I can’t look away. Scroll, scroll, scroll…in the meantime I’m gaining weight, losing muscle tone, my house is a mess, and my soul hurts.

So I cut my son’s hair, and I felt better. I made chicken salad, ah! There is fresh laundry in the dryer waiting to be folded, I’m back to me.

Unfortunately, I need Facebook for my social media business, so there is no way to completely give it up, but this has been a very insightful day. There’s no reason I need to be tethered to it, I’m ready to get my life back.

Because my life is good ~Jane

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