Tear it Apart and Put it Back Together

My mood sucks. I’ve been sick for weeks and am finally getting my energy back; but now I’m mad. Moody. Cranky.

Everything is a mess. I am completely unorganized now, and my system has completely broken down. (see prior post regarding planning and system, click HERE)

Overwhelmed is a word I use quite often. My plan the past 10 years or so has been to build an empire. To be a busy businesswoman. Well, that happened. I have a job, a marketing business, a band, and I’m running a household. I’m fucking busy and still not making enough money to live on. Besides that, I am turning 50 in a few weeks and have no plan put together regarding my retirement other than a small 401K and this house we live in.

On the emotional side, I have kind of lost my gusto for life. It comes and goes, I get fleeting moments of inspiration and then it quickly fades away because…well…because I have to work like a fiend to survive. I can’t remember my last vacation. I can’t remember the last time I had 2 pennies to rub together. (Wow, that saying really shows my age, doesn’t it? haha)

Anyway, today I am focusing on house. Cooking. Cleaning. Organizing thoughts in my head. I have to put a new system together or everything is going to fall apart pretty quickly. My husband is insinuating that I drink too much, and he’s right. In the evening, I drink wine. It helps me shut down my brain. Finally relax. It helps me sleep…wine is my friend. All signs of alcoholism, I get it.

The point of all this is: Summer is here. My schedule is about to explode. The reigns need to be put in place and I must firmly plant myself in the drivers seat. No more “ignore” button. Time to prioritize. How in the world do I do this?

OK, I think I figured it out.

This blog is going to help me manifest the direction I am ready to take. In the days/weeks/months to follow, I will create a “page” of each aspect of my life. Home. Family. Work. Financial. Creative. Health. Helpful People. I’ve done this in the past on paper and it is very powerful. But now, in the world of technology, I am going to implement the internet to manifest my goals.

Thanks for listening. or reading. or whatever.

~Jane out.

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